A Comfort watch of Stargate SG-1 by two people new to the show
Episodes
Tuesday Feb 13, 2024
Tuesday Feb 13, 2024
Season 5 Episode 16: The Last Stand
Yeah, that’s right, Deej continues to come close to murdering some System Lords only to back off at the last minute, ruining the whole situation. Very Frustrating! Small compensation at least that he totally misses out on that nonconsensual body-sharing shit over in the crystal caves when Lantash simply has to have Lt Elliot or he’s “gonna die”.
Also, maybe the System Lords are sort of…losing their collective shit? OK, eat your young, but why are you biting them from the middle and making a big ol’ mess? Who eats like that? It’s giving Darryl Hannah eating a lobster in Splash cannibal vibes.
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Tuesday Jan 30, 2024
Tuesday Jan 30, 2024
Season 5 Episode 15: Summit
For the love of fuck, every time I watch this episode I get detonate-the-bomb blue balls. DJ is a horrible kill-all-the-system-lords tease.
Zipacna, the coolest Gooldie of them all, is at least getting some work done, as the Tokra are TUH-OAST with the attack of Gou'ld fleet. Will Daniel grow at LEAST a single, and pull the trigger. Find out next week. Two-parter biz-natches!
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Tuesday Jan 16, 2024
Tuesday Jan 16, 2024
Season 5 Episode 14: 48 hours
Teal’c is buffering. Literally. Like, he’s operating from an AOL CD, so we won’t see him but for the first and final three seconds of the episode.
It has also come to the attention of these dear pod hosts that this one horrible hot pile of steaming microwave-reheated cat turds by the name of Dr. McKay is somehow a beloved regular on Atlantis? Frozen Siberian Tundra must do wonders for the soul, because that dirt bag is so canceled right now.
And aside from the things he does that makes him so hateable, he tries to murder Teal’c in the buffer zone! WTAF???
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Tuesday Jan 02, 2024
Tuesday Jan 02, 2024
Season 5 Episode 13: Proving Ground
Listen. Look. These cadets are almost like having a kid leading the episode. It’s whatever, but for some reason the SG-C is designing elaborate scenarios to get the Big Top Boy cadet to pass the training even though the Dainty Little Miss cadet is already there at the start of the episode with no extra help? As a great man once asked, “Why don’t you put her in charge?”
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Tuesday Dec 19, 2023
Tuesday Dec 19, 2023
Season 5 Episode 12: Wormhole X-Treme
I know the one where Sam and MacNeil basically express their romantic love for each other because they’re separated by a goooold shield wall thingy and think they’re dying is also good, OK. But in this episode, frequent double dipping creative consultant Peter DeLouise makes sure we know whom he’d cast as Colonel Jack O’Neill with two els, his wee little brother. So meta, so fun.
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Tuesday Dec 05, 2023
Tuesday Dec 05, 2023
Season 5 Episode 11: Desperate Measures
Jack’s real bestie is back in town baybee! Hutch. Or Starsky. Carter cannot literally not even catch a break! She is kidnapped leaving the gym, a fantastic reason to never work out. Or leave the house.
Anyhoozle, that Jolinar schtick really bites her in that ass this week. Ultimately the Gate Gang comes out on top in this one. Wild, I know.
Also, HAPPY 100 EPISODES TO US! Help us celebrate by joining our Patreon! ComeTrya!!!!
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Tuesday Nov 21, 2023
Tuesday Nov 21, 2023
Season 5 Episode 10: 2001
Hey y'all, remember in the Episode "2010" when the note that got through the gate was O'Neil's. Not Daniel's, not Sam's, but Macguver's quite minimalistic, "DON'T GO HERE!" followed by the planet number.
Well, turns out it would have been nice if he had added the word "Ashen People", "Sterility," "Fuck these Assholes," ANYTHING, because we almost GET what happened in 2010 come to pass because, turns out, OTHER people know them, introduce them to us, and we think they're GREAT!!
Just. . you know. . .be a bit more thorough, O'Neil.
Also, every boyfriend Carter has (or can potentially have) dies. What up with that?
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Wednesday Nov 08, 2023
Wednesday Nov 08, 2023
Season 5 Episode 9:
Can you even?! These sanctimonious Tolan dicks (who let’s not forget know how to separate gooooolds from hosts but keep it to themselves and help like, um no one) continue to demonstrate that they are selfish little twats.
They try to sell out Earth to that huge prick Tanith. Narim is the best Tolan and probably Sam’s best boyfriend in the series, so it is a huge bummer that he chooses to stay behind on a doomed Tolana at the end. Honestly, I think more people should come back to Earth. It’s weird that each member of SG-1 has to be an island.
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Tuesday Oct 31, 2023
Tuesday Oct 31, 2023
Season 5 Episode 8: The Tomb
In this Fraggle Rock/SG-1 crossover from Hell, the Gate Gang and their Russian pals get chased (and in some cases horrifically killed) by the grossest Fraggle.
Luckily one Russian survives to prove that SG-1 didn’t do a whole bunch of murders on the Russians. So yeah, post-Cold War relations are probably leading to a pretty great future of abundance and cooperation. Mostly though, THAT IS NOT A PYRAMID.
Oh, and subscribe to our PATREON! Love you!
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Tuesday Oct 24, 2023
Tuesday Oct 24, 2023
Season 5 Episode 7: Beast of Burden
Sooooo, remember in like episode four of this whole entire series when Daniel Jackson was like maybe rape is just part of their way of life and we definitely shouldn’t intervene in this one happening right in front of us? Yeah, he’s equally squishy on at least race-based slavery.
These white saviors plus Teal’c get some Unas killed during their rescue only to get to the gate and find out the Unas actually wasted their lives rescuing SG-1 because they obviously need to stick around to liberate their people. Jack thinks that might be a bad reason to distribute like two whole weapons to them. Cool, cool, cool. Very Colonial O’Neill, 2 L's.
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