A Comfort watch of Stargate SG-1 by two people new to the show
Episodes
Tuesday Sep 21, 2021
Tuesday Sep 21, 2021
Season 1 Episode 14: Singularity
So we strike the balance here with Carter being just girlie or motherly enough to bond with and save a rather uncharismatic little girl, but not so much that she doesn’t seem beast enough to soldier on with the Gate Gang. Hoo-mother fucking-ray.
This is a child actor-heavy one, folks.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday Sep 14, 2021
Tuesday Sep 14, 2021
Season 1 Episode 13: Hathor
Deja Vu on the Dangerous Deity Pumper sitch.
We learn all the men of Cheyenne Mountain are straight…and so are all the women (who think men are such ding dongs that they barely take seriously Goa’uld Hathor’s drugging, subjugating, and violating of the menfolk). Daniel breed giant prawns with Hathor, and good for him, as “maybe this is just how sex works in their culture.” That’s right, we still see you Daniel.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday Sep 07, 2021
Tuesday Sep 07, 2021
Season 1 Episode 12: Fire and Water
Probably too busy fucking her new pet, old man fiancee, Dr. Catherine Langford doesn’t even show up when Daniel is presumed dead on a confusing planet that is both fire and water.
Daniel's in a real pickle with his team mistaking brain-tampering-induced PTSD for grief while he’s trapped by a tiny sea monster looking for his wife WHO HAS BEEN MISSING FOR 1000 YEARS. Damn, Daniel's people gave up on him after what, a week? They literally cleaned out his apartment, read his diary, and held a funeral/BBQ.
Sucks to suck, D-man.
Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday Aug 31, 2021
Tuesday Aug 31, 2021
Season 1 Episode 11: Bloodlines
Talc has a son? And a wife? And he can sneak back to his planet to see them but never has? What a dick. His wife does not stay mad enough, even after stabbing him. Also, never drink Daniel’s coffee.
Also, SG Fun has Evolved! Now with ACTUAL Audio Equipment! No more wondering if Tory and Sarah are talking through Casio Compact Headsets through Phone Modems from 1994. Enjoy!
Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday Aug 24, 2021
Tuesday Aug 24, 2021
Season 1 Episode 10: The Torment of Tantalus
How long must one be trapped in a wave-crashed cave before one becomes an Always Nude, a naturalist? How long, really, before one throws oneself into the sea? Longer than we’d think! Something like 50 ridiculous years! Catherine, please accept this naked and confused old man as a token of the SGC’s appreciation for fucking completely off forever.
Read the rest of this entry »
Wednesday Aug 18, 2021
Wednesday Aug 18, 2021
Season 1 Episode 9: Thor's Hammer
The Team seeks to build a group of planets united against a common enemy, The Goooold; A federation of sorts, if you will. It doesn’t go great, especially for Talc, of course.
WILL OUR HEROES ALL MAKE IT OUT OF THOR’S SHITTY DISNEYLAND LABYRINTH RIDE ALIVE AND FULLY INTACT?
Alternate alternate title: Thor’s Hammered. Your hosts got pretty wasted, pretty fast for some reason. Editing took a bit…please forgive any related delay in the release schedule!
Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday Aug 10, 2021
Tuesday Aug 10, 2021
Season 1 Episode 8: Brief Candle
Some of the team gets their fuck on, others on the team suck their teeth in jealous disapproval. It’s babies having babies all over the place and also Jack catching the literal worst STI yet discovered. We can’t believe this doesn’t happen ALL THE TIME in SciFi!
Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday Aug 03, 2021
Tuesday Aug 03, 2021
Season 1 Episode 7: The Nox
Quark from DS-9 shows up with his new pals to repeatedly condescend to the dumb hooomans, but it’s cool: the dumb hooomans are too busy condescending back to even notice. Will our heroes save the Nox, or will the Nox save them?
Also, new segment: GET TO KNOW YOUR HOST! If you stick around after our sponsor segment (currently made up of a plethora of non existent, but soon to be corporate love bombs), Tory and Sarah answer a question from Talking Points, a game for couples to learn about their bae. While we're not actually a couple, we feel engaged to you, our lovely fans (also non existent at this point, but we think fourth dimensionally yo). Enjoy!
Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday Jul 27, 2021
Tuesday Jul 27, 2021
Season 1 Episode 6: Cold Lazarus
Jack is acting weird AF upon return from a mission that DEFINITELY is finally not just the forest in Vancouver, BC. But no one cares. At all. He just goes home. And stalks his ex. And also is a bomb. Oh my star(gate)s! We hope the team can save him and the show!
Read the rest of this entry »
Tuesday Jul 20, 2021
Tuesday Jul 20, 2021
Season 1 Episode 5: The First Commandment
Wow, this shit is WILD! Like, does the SG program even screen people for the job?
Talking points: Is it a coincidence that the first character killed in this one is called Frakes? I guess that’s why this is SG-9, or the A, B, C...I Squad. And why even have ranks if there’s no real chain of command?
Read the rest of this entry »